RAWR!!!

Speaking of dreams...

I keep having these horrible dreams.

Everynight someone I love dies and I can't find them anywhere and I can't accept that they're dead.

First it was Greg who died to save my life from a crazy man who was shooting everyone. Then it was Maren who was trying to escape from terroists. Then my dad from Zombies. All the way down the list of my loved ones....

Why are my dreams being tortured? I used have silly, funny, happy, lovey dreams.

I think it might be the weather. Honestly. Last year when I went to a counselor, she told me she thought I got the winter blues.

I don't like the winter it always reminds me of really bad times in my life and bad things always happen in the winter. No lie.

Maybe I just need to move. I love Utah, but I NEED a change. I have been considering moving to Oregon for a long time now...

Even if I did move I wouldn't be able to do it for a year or so... Bills and debt. Blah.

I miss my family and hardly get to see the ones I do live close to.
However, daddy and I went out to dinner and saw Harry Potter V last week. That was fun. I love my daddy.

It really is true that you never know what you've got till it's gone...


Now it's time for my boy update. So I have been dating this guy from my old Target. He is kinda a jerk, but I have fun with him and he is rich (goldigger, I know). However, he is just a passing craze. I know he won't last. I don't want him to last. Still waiting on that server to dump his girlfriend... Who needs anyone when you have Gwen...

My little fatty is losing weight again and to show her protest she has taken to peeing on everything again. when she gets skinny, I'm never putting her on a diet again. She is so full of spirit and is just like a kitten except for the whole fat thing. She is always playing and cuddling and rubbing and licking. She loves me. Lucky for her, I love her to death and will probably have a breakdown when she dies. Silly kitty. The other day I pulled out my heater blanket for the winter and she hasn't left it since... Even right now she is looking at me while purring and rubbing her body all over the blanket....

Target is going good, I've been sick a lot lately but what can you do? I am taking on a lot there and am probably going to breakdown soon, but right now I'm having fun. At McGraths I'm trying to transfer over to bussing. Having a hard time doing that since the manager hates me and I am the best hostess.... Seriously. And that's pretty sad....

Anyway, time to go take a bath to try and calm the cramps since it's that time... AGAIN

much love