Amelia misses

Watching Pokemon on Saturday mornings. Eating ice cream in the middle of the night. Eating out with my friends. Going to the library almost every night and staying there reading till close. Waking up at six for school. Wondering what my first kiss was going to be like. Going to sleepovers every weekend. And Colton. I hate breaking up.

Here you go

Still working at Target. What a surprise. They've taken it down to one team lead in Softlines so now I run the whole entire clothing department. It's a huge challenge and normally results in me getting frustrated with my team or myself. It'll be interesting to see what happens in my store in the next couple months. One of my friends got into her radiology program and so she'll be stepping down and transfering to the Orem Target to be closer to her house. They're also opening a new Target in Sugar House and we'll probably have one or two transfers up there from the Team Leads. So then we'll be down on head count in our store. I'm trying to decide if it's worth it or not to try for senior team lead. Then I would have Leader On Duty shifts where I would run the whole store basically, plus be over softlines. However, the pay increase would be substanstial.

In my personal life, after trying for a couple months to keep my relationship with Colton secret from my coworkers, it all came out in the past week or so. Interestingly enough, not many people care like I thought they would. It helps that he doesn't work for Target anymore, but it doesn't help that he thinks our relationship isn't going to go anywhere. Hence the drama rama like crazy with him. If I'm not ecstatically happy for one minute, I'm bawling my eyes out the next. I really really dislike dating. But I'm determined to make things work as long as I can, although hopefully he will wake up and realize how dumb he is being....

I'm going to go to school this semester for just two classes, meteorology and communications. I'm excited to see what I can learn from meterorology. It looks super interesting, and if that doesn't help me get a job/internship with a readio or tv station, I don't know what will.

Now, let's count our blessings.

1. Gwen
2. My Family
3. An incredible home over my head
4. A stable job
5. Supportive friends
6. Not physically deformed
7. A lot of different ways to entertain myself, books, movies, bike, longboard
8. A gym pass
9. School
10. the Future.

My weekly rant.

Pretty sure this job is draining my life away. I take naps every day now and go to bed so early. I drink a few Mountain Dews a day just to make it without killing someone. I don't know if the stress on my brain and body is worth the tuition reimbusement anymore. I feel so unappreciated even though I run half the store and run it pretty well. I am sick of dealing with girls and WOMEN who act like teenagers and fight and gossip all the time. I want to work somewhere where I don't have to wear the same thing everyday and don't have to babysit and train and yell everyday. I mainly want the bags under my eyes to go away :(

You!

Weekend Update

With Tina Fey.

Over the past few months, Amelia's life has been, to put in one simple word, Tiring.
You would think with no school and only working 40 hours a week, Amelia wouldn't be so exhausted. WRONG....

I've been attempting to be as productive as I can since I feel so guilty about not going to school, but it seems that nature is trying to kill me. I swear, it's one disease right after another. I've has random flare ups of my tonsils on and off for the past couple months until they started hurting to the point I couldn't swallow anything so I went into the doctor before my target benefits expired and found out I have strep. I was hoping to be completely cured by now, but I'm pretty sure due to my lack of caring for myself, it's coming back again...
On a lighter note, I started watching Lost thanks to my new boyfriend Netflix. I've gotten through almost all the seasons in about 1 1/2 weeks... Don't be too impressed. I'm so addicted to Netflix, it's almost tragic how much time I spend with that instead of a real life boyfriend. Speaking of males...
No. I am not dating anyone. I just can't get myself to actually try and make things work with anyone. I should think that is a positive attribute, right? I mean, who wants to be dating someone just because they want to be dating someone? I for one am extremely picky and I have a right to be. I think I might have a skewed vision of how dating and guys should be but I can always blame the media later on in life when I'm an old cat lady.
I'm still trying to find an internship that won't conflict with my job too much since Target is basically putting me through school. I've heard it's really easy to get into radio station internships, but television is a whole other story.
I also have more responsibilities at work now. They moved my coworker Rachelle up the front lanes and completely did away with the Specialist positions (Shoe Specialist, Jewelry Specialist, etc).Instead of of only being in charge of half the clothing section, I'm over all of it. That's practically half the store. It's only been a week of this new job and I'm already stressed. I have some conflicts with some of the girls that work for me, but I'm hoping they can either get over it and help me out or move departments because I run a tight ship and no one gets away with anything! Not even me.
I talked my roommates into starting to foster animals from the Shelter. I really wish I could get down there and volunteer again but gas is expensive and I get so sad seeing all of the lonely animals. This way I can help out a few at a time. I also gave up meat for lent and I'm hoping for good. I just feel so guilty when I'm eating meat. I know I'm being silly, but I love animals and don't ever want to be the reason for their pain :(
I'm also hoping to take part of this life learning seminar thingy that my roommate, Amy, took part of. It's kinda to help you understand your goals in life and start trusting yourself and other people... since I definitely need help with both of those. It's expensive but Amy was telling me that a lot of people donate and sponsor people through the workshops since it has helped them so much. I'll let you know how that goes since I'm excited to see what it's like.
I love my roommates, it's the perfect blend of privacy and hanging out. I love that I can just be by myself or hang out with them whenever I want, whereas before my roommates would make me feel guilty if I wanted to stay in my room. It feels like home I guess. Su Jin is an awesome cook and Amy and I like all of the same movies. It's just wonderful!

To end on a note of inspiration... If Gwen can open cabinets, so can you.

Milo.

Just the Rain

The Clouds
The majestic

Clouds
Storming

Lightning
In my chest
The misery of
The Clouds.
Rain dropping

So Loud
Rain

Hammering
The noise
Never satisfied
With just the

Rain.

Thanks a lot

For rubbing in my face how much I suck at making Gone with the Wind