I'll tell you what I want

I just got back from the best ultimate Frisbee tournament ever.

I am a rockstar!

I played my first real game of capture the flag.

I got injured on a slide. There was blood. Seriously.

I love my friends. Rachelle and Carson. They are the coolest married couple around!

I always have some good music to listen to anywhere I am at, thanks to my awesome iPod.

In less then three weeks, I will be with Chris and Lucy whom I also love... Lucy. Not Chris so much... bahaha. I need to get my camera working so I can take a lot of pictures for you guys.

By the way, Chris and Lucy are getting married... in case you didn't know.

The rock is huge. Good job Chris.

I love butterfingers.

I can name drop the mayor of Cottonwood Heights... Don't be too impressed. It totally got me through a blocked off, drunk driving check point. Not that I was participating in that activity... the driving I mean.

My cat is so cool, I need to wear gloves to pet her.

I love when my nails are painted, makes them look better. Until I chip them off at work.

My butt hurts from all the exercise.

Target is the coolest job I have ever had.

I joined the Newspaper Staff for SLCC and will probably join their television production team as well.

I am a dating machine!

I still don't want to get married, and I am more then okay with that. I am way too selfish to share my life with someone... Except Gwen

I am becoming more tolerant with emoticons as of late. I still hate them, but I'm not so verbal about it now. It won't change anything.

Still in search of the perfect singles ward.

I love my families stupid humor. Makes my life awesome!

Bleah.

I just love life so much sometimes, I can't stand it.

If you can't appreciate the small things in life, like a nice glass of milk in the morning, or a cute cat cuddling with you in life, then I feel sorry for you. The big things don't come as much as people want or need to fill their void. Don't take the small things for granted..

I love you all!

P.S. If I had Rachelle and Carson's child, via surrogate... And then I had one of my own, and they fell in love with each other, is that considered incest? They both came from my womb but they're not the same genetics... Hmmm... yeah I did think of this when I volunteered to be their surrogate

I love BBQ sauce and telling stories

It's amazing to me how much I've turned my life around....

Back in my crazy rebellion days I used to think I was so happy. I had my friends, I had my parties, I had a great job, and I normally had a guy on my arm. Life was perfect. Then stupid random things started happening to me that I took as just stupid bad things. Then Big stupid bad things started happening and I figured it was karma for some of the crappy things I had done to my family and friends. So I tried repairing a lot of my relationships with friends and family, but I was still partying, still going through boys like toilet paper, and still putting my friends before my family. I thought everything would be fine, and I didn't want to involve the church at all since I was still so bitter against it and how mom and dad always treated me differently and looked at me with disappointment since I didn't want to go to church anymore. The bad things kept coming. One day, I remade a friendship with an acquaintance and her friends. She became my new best friend and we talk all the time. I also met one of her friends who was an RM. The feeling with him and his love for the church was the most amazing feeling for me. I would love just being around him and feeling so clean and happy. A more satisfied happy from partying. I decided to try and stop drinking to see if that was why I would have such horrible down days, and because I am such a control freak, and drinking was not putting me in a position of control. I figured that even if I stopped drinking, I wouldn't have to go back to church if I didn't want to and that stopping drinking was good enough to satisfy my life. Then one night I went to a party with my roomate. I told myself I wouldn't drink and I didn't need to since I am not exactly the shyest person, but for some reason this party was so intimidating, someone passed me a beer and next thing I knew, I woke up at home realizing all the stupid things I had done. That night I went into dad's office and told him I needed to make an appointment with the bishop. After going to the bishop and starting to sort things out, things with the RM went sour, but I still stayed strong in trying to do the right thing. I miss the taste of the drinks, I miss the freedom that comes with the buzz, I miss the confidence, I miss a lot of my friends. It's just not worth it anymore. I can go out and drink a Diet Coke (I quit Mountain Dew as well... That was harder then booze) occasionally when I'm with my drinking friends, I don't get tempted unless it's been a particularly trying week but then I think about dad's face when he first thought I had started drinking and then I compare it to his face when I told him I wanted to be able to go to the temple. I still harbor some resentment towards some people in the church, and I have a hard time asking and receiving help for temptations, but comparing my life from now and then is so incredible. Before I used to never be able to be by myself. Now I love my free time and taking the time to learn. I hated the idea of school because I would have less time with friends and now I want to go to school and get my degree. I used to always hate being around my family because they were so clean and happy and I couldn't handle knowing that mom and dad looked at them with pride and me with disappointment. Granted, I'm still not perfect and I do still get wiffs of booze and crave it, but I know the aftermath would rip me apart so I don't do it. There are more stories I could tell about my partying days and more stories I could tell about the road back, but those are in person stories. Some are funny, some are sad, most of them are interesting... So basically I just wanted you guys to know that if I ever call for no good reason at all, just talk to me because I might need help with something and I can't ask for it...

Love ya.